Cor love a duck, we are throwing a hale! Jump into your whistle, strap on your dancing daisies, and put a new feather in your titfer - it is time to celebrate Thurrock's cockney heritage!

Join your fellow members as we tuck into some lovely jubbly grub, down a few pig's ears, and rabbit on with some morning glories. We even have DJ lined up to roll out the barrel, so bone up on your Chas and Dave.

Starts: 1900 for 1930 grubs up.

Dress code: East End authentic (pre-hipster)

Tickets: Limited availability tickets at £7.50 each from Chief Geezer Bernie

(Please note no stereotypes were harmed in the making of this notice)